The Flames of Love
Three Hebrew Words for Love
During this time of the year many people are looking for love. Some are looking in the right places and some are looking in the wrong places. Regardless, it may be helpful to know what it is that we are really looking for in a relationship.
In the Bible there is a book called Song of Songs. It basically is a collection of Hebrew love poems. In this Biblical book there are three different Hebrew words used to describe love. I have found these three things to be very important to cultivating a healthy and loving relationship.
Friendship
The first Hebrew word used to describe love in Song of Songs is "Raya," which means basically a friend, a companion or soulmate (Song of Songs 4:7). Basically, this special person should be our best friend.
Deep Affection and Commitment
The second Hebrew word is "Ahava," which means a deep affection. It is a desire that is unquenchable, a wish to be with the other person that makes your heart ache. Rob Bell, who produced a DVD named "Flame" that defines and illustrates love as three dimensional, states that "Ahava" is a love of the will and that it is more profound than just fleeting romantic feelings. It is a desire which leads a person to make a decision to join their life to another forever. It is what makes things last. It is the commitment involved in making a relationship work. Here we see that love is very much a choice as much as it is a connection. The lovers of Song of Songs state that Ahava is as strong as death, that many rivers cannot quench "Ahava" (Song of Songs 8:7).
Passion
The third Hebrew word used in the Hebrew love poems is "Dod." Dod means to carouse, rock or to fondle (Song of Songs 1:2). Dod is the passion and the romantic feelings that are a part of a love relationship, the physical, sexual part.
Bell describes these three ingredients of love as three distinct flames. Each component that we have is a small flame. Some people may just settle for the Dod flame in their relationship. Well, this is only a small piece of the whole of love. We can keep coming back to this flame but alone it never really satisfies. Our souls ache for more. The key is to have all three flames burning as one big flame. This big flame can warm our soul and satisfy us. Anything less is less than what we were intended for. The good news is that if you are in a relationship and one of these three ingredients is missing you can still, many times, light the flames by focusing on them.
Assessment
The key here is that you at least can be honest with yourself about what you have or do not have in your relationship. And if you are not in a relationship that you can at least know what to look for.
If you find you are lacking in any area you can work towards re-igniting and keeping those flames lit all the time. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves to take a date night without the kids and that begins to light the flames of friendship and passion. In a world where love is defined in so many different ways it is encouraging to know that I can hold on to a definition of love that doesn't leaving me falling down like a deck of cards. A definition that brings me hope and warmth for my soul.
To visit Nooma.com and check out the DVD "Flame" that illustrates these three definitions of love in a creative way click here. If you are interested in reading more relationship articles you can check out the list of articles below.