“Hold on to your anger and use it as compost for your garden.” —Thich Nhat Hanh, Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames

Some years ago I was feeling incredibly angry and resentful. I felt this way for a couple days. I have learned that when I judge others, it only contributes to anger and resentment. Despite knowing this, I kept judging a particular person. By doing this, I only added more drama to the story I was creating in my mind. I attached myself to ideas of unfairness, rudeness, disrespect, pride, and selfishness. This person was all of these in my story.

I found it strange that something would bother me so much that I would choose to go down this path of misery. “I should know better,” I thought. “I am a counselor.”

Making an apology is never easy. It means we accept responsibility for having done something that was unhealthy. We all have done it at some time in our lives. Many times we dreaded doing it and quickly wanted to get it over with. We recognized that we did something to stimulate pain in another and we had a desire to apologize. But what happened next was probably very superficial. We said those two famous words people usually say when they make a mistake, "I'm sorry."

Many times that is not enough. People may respond, "that doesn't do me any good" or "it's too late for that now." That is probably because they want more. They want what all of us want when somebody does something that stirs up pain in us. They want understanding, empathy and sincerity. 

As I watched the "Adventures of Louis and Clark" on television almost 10 years ago, I realized then that, at times, I played the role of Clark Kent in my life.

At times I would find myself falling over chairs and desks, clumsily trying to keep myself from falling on my face. Yet, at other times, I might fall in love with someone and never let the her know (back in my college days).

But what I found I had the most in common with Clark was that, I, too was hiding a secret identity. On October 28, 1995 my father, Max Zacapa, passed away and I was trying to live my life as it was before his death.