The Three Flames of Love

Do You Have the Three Flames in Your Relationship?

Many people are looking for love. Some are looking in the right places and some are looking in the wrong places. Regardless, it may be helpful to know what it is that we are really looking for in a relationship.

In the Bible there is a book called Song of Songs. It basically is a collection of Hebrew love poems. In this Biblical book there are three different Hebrew words used to describe love.

While I was dating my wife there came a point in the relationship where I was considering marrying her. I was not sure if I was ready to make this very important decision. So, I asked my pastor for guidance and he gave me a book to read that shared three key things to look for to assess if it was time to get married. Having been married almost six years, I have found these three key things to be very important to a healthy and loving relationship.

The first Hebrew word used to describe love in Song of Songs is "Raya," which means basically a friend, a companion or soulmate (Song of Songs 4:7). Basically, this special person should be our best friend.

The second Hebrew word is "Ahava," which means a deep affection. It is a desire that is unquenchable, a wish to be with the other person that makes your heart ache. Rob Bell, who produced a DVD named "Flame" that defines and illustrates love as three dimensional, states that "Ahava" is a love of the will and that it is more profound than just fleeting romantic feelings. It is a desire which leads a person to make a decision to join their life to another forever. It is what makes things last. It is the commitment involved in making a relationship work. Here we see that love is very much a choice as much as it is a connection. The lovers of Song of Songs state that Ahava is as strong as death, that many rivers cannot quench "Ahava" (Song of Songs 8:7).

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